


Pesterlog Drabbles

by Rubber Chicken With A Keyboard (RCWAK)



Category: Homestuck, Steven Universe (Described)
Genre: Canon-typical swearing, Does that make it a T or a G?, Drabble, Gen, Humor, I'm going with G, Nonsense, Pesterlog, Roxy drunkenly explains ancient children's cartoons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-08-31 05:44:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8566267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RCWAK/pseuds/Rubber%20Chicken%20With%20A%20Keyboard
Summary: Just some nonsense stuff I wrote. Mostly humor.





	1. AJ

gallowCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

GC: D444V3  
GC: 1'M TH1RSTY  
GC: R34LLY TH1RSTY...  
GC: COULD YOU S3ND M3 SOM3TH1NG TO DR1NK?  
TG: what  
TG: dont you have your own stuff to drink  
TG: shit do weird meteor labs even have food on them  
GC: NOP3.  
GC: W3 H4V3N'T 34T3N 4NYTH1NG S1NC3 W3 4RR1V3D ON TH3 M3T3OR!  
GC: WH1CH 1S WHY 1'M SO TH11111RSTYYY!!!  
TG: do i look like a vending machine to you  
TG: and in the mean time how the hell would i even send you the drinks  
TG: well i probably could alchemize something  
TG: if i had any to share, that is  
GC: SO YOU DO H4V3 DR1NKS, BUT JUST WON'T SH4R3 TH3M?  
GC: UNF41R!  
TG: i told you im not a vending machine  
TG: the only drink ive got here is aj  
TG: and thats mine and mine alone  
GC: 4WWWW  
GC: 1S 1T R34LLY TH4T SP3C14L  
TG: youre asking me if the nectar of the gods is special  
TG: wow what next  
TG: does my brother have a weird puppet fetish  
GC: COM3 ON  
GC: HOW C4N 4 DR1NK B3 SO SP3C14L L1K3 TH4T?  
TG: you have no idea  
TG: that stuff is absolute strider exclusive  
TG: brewed up from apple trees in area 51 and distributed solely to the coolest of bros  
TG: that being me and mine  
TG: slaved over for hours by juicing masters in secrets bases  
TG: wars have been fought over the secrets of aj  
TG: bloody bitter wars  
TG: but the masters will never give up their secrets  
GC: D4V3, C4N 1 JUST H4V3 4 L1TTL3?  
TG: nope  
TG: im just gonna hang out over here sipping my sweet sweet aj  
TG: none for crazy awesome blind chicks in other universes  
GC: D4V3!  
GC: JUST 4 L1TTL3 S1P?  
TG: ...  
TG: fine  
TG: one time only  
TG: how does 2 boonbucks a drop sound  
GC: TWO BOON-C3NTS 1S MOR3 L1K3 1T!  
GC: BUT 1'LL PL4Y 4LONG FOR NOW  
TG: you sure  
TG: this is the golden elixir we're talking about here  
GC: WH4T3V3R!  
TG: right im just gonna sit here and bask in the glory of the juice  
TG: wait what the hell  
TG: shit  
TG: why is future me destroy all my aj?!  
TG: oh god why  
TG: won't someone think of the children  
GC: YOU M34N YOUR CONSORTS?  
TG: children crocodiles whatever  
TG: future me is obviously a villain and a threat to humanity  
TG: im gonna have to go deal with him myself  
TG: he will fucking pay for that  
TG: what did aj ever do to him

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't ask me what a boon-cent is


	2. Roxy will explain the crystal gems, drunkeness be damned!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> go to sleep roxy

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] created memo 'kidie cartonns yayyy'

TG: so ugy s.  
TG: *guys  
TG: hehe ugsgs  
TG: anyway i hj ave some thing a i need ot tell you all about and its veryr inmoporstant  
TG: *have  
TG: *vry imporitatn  
TG: *very importnatn  
TG: *ugughhghhg  
TG: eirght yeah  
TG: i need to tleleell you all  
TG: about...  
TG: TEH FICITONAL ALIEN INVASIONS  
TG: *inva  
TG: oh wait i atually spelled int rightt he first time hehehe  
TG: …  
TG: ….....  
TG: …..................................////;./;,............  
TG: wow tough croowsnd  
TG: anyway  
TG: this is thoie first thing youmust know  
TG: *the first things you must know  
TG: *good enough  
TG: the thing you iust jnkow  
TG: is that th eyere are alieunts aeverywhenere  
TG: *alieaunts everywhen  
TG: *alien aunts everywhen  
TG: ^^yeah that too  
TG: the alieuants appeara female and loko inda kool  
TG: oh mmy god what tdid i just stiypyueew  
TG: please dont tel me a just wrote cool which a k  
TG: ugghhh wohops  
TG: stuipid fingers  
TG: ANYWAY  
TG: th ealients are made out of light becaus etrheiry aren'yt roangantic.  
TG: *ormantis  
TG: *romantic  
TG: ^^pfffft i meant organic  
TG: they comnists of gemstones and a bit hologram akll aroudnt ehir gem that servesa as thie rbody but if theiy get uurt it hjust reforms afterawanrds.  
TG: * comnunnitst  
TG: *consist not communistss dammit  
TG: also *big *all around their *hurt *afterwards  
TG: ^^ lol somanytypos  
TG: okay and they also make theimbselves aouta nonsentinetnes gems and grwo in planettsn and then suck all the life outta the planet which is why they're dangerounds and ashouldn't be anonf earth.  
TG: *thensellves *outta *nonsentinent *dangerous *shoulnd't be on earht  
TG: *nonsentient *shoudnl't eb on teatrth  
TG: *ah fuckit im just gonna keep going and hficsdsx it liater  
TG: k so  
TG: they came  
TG: like invadsers about a szillion years ago or something  
TG: and they were conna conllonaize the eatrh but then their awas a rebellynbon and tehy got driven out by this lrenendegsdaeades  
TG: i have to stop and fix  
TG: NOPE NOPE KEEEEEEEP TYINNPING  
TG: seriously how the funck is rneengeages so hard to tpye  
TG: that's like thirtly letters there or somsething  
TG: renegageas  
TG: ernenga  
TG: renegades'  
TG: renedgfea  
TG: AAHAFASJHGLKJDFGKJSDHFGLKJHSLFS;sjakbg;a  
TG: good enoguh  
TG: right back to the bapint  
TG: *point  
TG: the one leading hte rerbeerrlion bas this giant soldier nurse lady but not she has a kind a nthey realized ehy can invade again becos she can't defentds it anywmore because she dies to ahve the kind sinces theat's thoe s on tly what tehy could have a bjhalff hunmban baby  
TG: this is what i get for not wahtcing my fingers closne enougn  
TG: i mean  
TG: bljhallff hunmban baby  
TG: what the fuck  
TG: hhahahaa  
TG: im sondrcukn right now  
TG: is anyone evessn uop this alter  
TG: *this late  
TG: how ht e fuck even  
TG:   
TG:  
TG:  
  
TG: u no what  
TG: m gonig  
TG: pelaseas ask beme agian when im sober

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] stopped responding to memo 'kidie cartonns yayyy'

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] closed memo 'kidie cartonns yayyy'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: all these typos are real. i just made a point of being a bit sloppier than usual and not correcting anything.


End file.
